Sunday 5th January 2025

Hello and Happy New Year!

Here we are in 2025. What will the year bring for us? We do not know, so all we can do is keep on breathing, keep on smiling, and make the most of each moment.

I want to mention a feeling that I don’t think gets spoken about much. But it has been on my mind since I watched episode two of The Traitors (UK) a few days ago. 

One of the participants around the round table began crying as she was struggling to convince the others that she was a ‘faithful’ and not a ‘traitor’. She had previously spoken about how her first language wasn’t English and so she had an extra cognitive step to take for each interaction she had with the others. She had to translate in her head before speaking in English. As I watched the pressure build-up for her as she struggled to convince those who had already made their minds up, I noticed that after crying, it did look like the pressure disappeared from her face. 

This made me ponder the feeling of relief and how important it is.

What is relief?

Relief follows a build-up of pressure, and it is interesting to see the many ways that our bodily systems release pressure. From the sleep pressure that builds up over the course of a day to the pressure that builds between the circulatory system, kidneys and bladder prior to the release of urine.

Relief is like a resetting emotion. It’s the deep sigh you let out after solving a problem, the calm that follows good news, or the release you feel when a stressful situation finally resolves. 

One example is the relief we feel after crying. Tears often come after an intense emotional buildup—whether from sadness, frustration, or even joy. When we cry, we’re not just expressing emotion; we’re also releasing it. That post-crying calm isn’t imaginary—it’s a physiological shift. Crying has also been found to trigger the release of endorphins, our body’s natural feel-good chemicals, and helps to lower cortisol, the stress hormone.

Letting go of pressure

This ‘letting go’ of pressure is important in many of our bodily systems. But it seems to me that we also benefit from whatever helps us to let go emotionally. Expressive writing is one of the ways that we can let go. When we put our thoughts and feelings onto paper, we offload which is a form of emotional release. By processing what we have offloaded we also take this further and transform this release of emotions into something tangible, which can help to move us forward with clarity. 

Everyday Moments of Relief 

• Relief comes in many forms, big and small:  
• Finding your phone after thinking it was lost.  
• Resolving a conflict with a loved one.  
• Hearing good news after waiting in suspense.  
• Completing a challenging project or ticking something off your to-do list.  
• And yes, even after a good cry or a session of writing out your thoughts.  

These moments, often understated, are opportunities to pause and appreciate this unsung emotion that briefly resets us.

Relief as a Reset Button 

This is, I think, what makes relief so special. Its power to reset. It is a key part of our body’s pressure valve system. It is the pause between what was stressful and what comes next, giving us space to process and recharge.  

Seen this way, perhaps emotional tension is a normal part of a pressure and relief system. We just need to normalise allowing ourselves to relieve the emotional pressure. 

Notice the next time you feel relieved. What was it that happened? What helped you feel relieved? What do you do to help yourself feel relieved if you feel a build-up of pressure?

Weekly Process

You could do this exercise as an expressive writing practice. Set yourself a timer for 7 minutes to free write/offload all of your thoughts about this. 

Then set the timer for another 7 minutes and focus down, notice any moments where you felt relief over the past week. Or, if you haven't felt this, what could you do to release the pressure? Set intentions and any actions that you want to take over the next week.

I hope that you have a lovely restful Sunday and I will see you next week.

Bye for now,

Donna

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