Sunday 23rd February 2025

Happy Sunday!

Loneliness in Midlife: You Are Not Alone

I realised last week that I have not been out, to socialise and have fun, since June last year. I have seen people, and have worked with people on various volunteering and hobby-based activities, mainly online, but I haven’t actively arranged to go out with any friends in ages. 

It made me think about the structure of my days and how there is minimal physical interaction. I work online and there is an isolation that creeps in with this way of working. I interact with people, but time is always part of the frame so I don't ever just 'chill' online. Can you even do that anyway?

I had a look online and discovered that there has been quite a lot of research into this area. Isolation and loneliness is apparently a very real issue, and particularly prevalent in midlife people. I found two studies that discussed how current generations of Americans and British people are significantly lonelier than previous generations. A study by Infurna et al in 2024 found that isolation and loneliness was connected to midlife changes and also family dynamics, as well as job related issues. 

Loneliness is about how you perceive being alone. You can be lonely even though you are interacting with people. Loneliness can show up as a feeling of emptiness even within a group. This feeling can be something that can trigger us to look at what we are missing. So it isn’t necessarily a ‘bad’ feeling in itself. 

As with all emotions, it is a message for us. Showing us something. In this case, maybe it is about reconnecting with ourselves, or the self we want to be, or the people we want to connect to. Maybe the role we are currently in is keeping us disconnected.

Have you felt this feeling?

If you have, then maybe the feeling is a message for you too.

What could we do?

Connect with someone you haven’t spoken to in a while, signup to a new class or event on Eventbrite or Meetup, or seek out an online community for something you are interested in. Or perhaps go for a walk in nature, to connect, with your nature.

I think I will be doing one or more of these over the next two weeks, particularly getting out from behind the screen, now that the days are a bit lighter here.

Using Expressive Writing for self-awareness and emotional connection

If you are looking to increase your connection with yourself and your feelings, I have written an in-depth course on how to use expressive writing for emotional awareness and regulation. The course also blends CBT tools and techniques for understanding and working with our patterns, as well as a module on using music for our emotion processing.

It is available from my course platform HERE.

Or you can also access it on the Udemy course platform HERE. I have priced the course to be less than the cost of one therapy session. If you have any difficulties accessing the course or have any questions about the course, do feel free to email me by replying to this email.

Weekly Process Writing Prompts:

Write about what you notice when you think back over the past week. Have you been expecting a lot of yourself this week? How would it feel to let yourself go at a slower pace right now.

Sending you love and hope that you can let yourself winter right now. Spring is on the horizon, but we are just preparing for it right now and do not need to do any more than we are doing. Let yourself rest.

Until next Sunday,

Donna

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